Graduation, a letter to the present & the future (a letter)

***(opening up this letter to the public since it is somewhat an "update")

To: all my dearest friends

By the time you are reading this letter, I'll probably be walking across the stage, having graduated, or celebrating with my friends at Chili's. In other words, I'm graduating (...or have graduated)! Four years felt so long in the present, but in retrospect, it feels so short. But I'm finally done!

As I was preparing to write this letter I thought about all the faces I had the opportunity of meeting and the seasons I had the honor of suffering through. I reflected on past relationships I fostered and the new ones I formed along the way. To the current college students, I hope this letter will provoke you to better understand yourself and to challenge the status quo of your life. And to postgraduates and future me, I hope this letter will serve as a reflection and encouragement of a newly-graduates thanksgivings.

(To be honest, there were many things I wanted to write about, but for the sake of my sanity and your short attention span, I will try to keep it short. Keyword: “try”)

This year I graduate with a degree in marketing and a minor in graphic design. But more than adding yet another achievement under my belt or finding reassurance in being one step closer to financial security, I will cherish my time at San Jose State because of the people and the community I encountered and the space it gave me to explore myself as a person. Trust me, if it were solely based on merit and reputation, I don't think I would have chosen San Jose State. My college experience involved pioneering a college ministry (EPC) as a freshman, starting my own clothing brand (TSC), creating five more Instagram accounts to express my creativity, and more recently, working on design projects with individual artists, ministries, and organizations. San Jose State, without a doubt, allowed me to explore many of my gifts and talents. I love SJSU.

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with MBTIs, enneagrams, attachment styles, and Heidi Priebe (psychology, to say the least). These personality tests have been a great way to break the ice and understand myself and others better. I’ve been utilizing these tools to show grace to others. They also provide a light hearted approach to delving into deeper and more vulnerable questions. Usually my conversations go like this, “Hey, what’s your MBTI” and end up developing into conversations like, “WHY do you think you are the way you are? WHAT makes you who you are? WHY do you feel that way? WHAT makes you feel that way? HOW do you think you can change?” Psychology is great. If you’re someone who desires to ask deeper questions but is afraid to come off as “harmful and intrusive” (Youree), I highly recommend investing into the quirks of psychology and personality tests.

All that being said, I may be applying to graduate schools sooner than expected. Originally, I planned on working for a couple years and then pursuing further studies. However, after much thought and prayer I’ve decided to apply for the fall semester of 2024 in psychology, therapy, or counseling. If you spot me grinding away at your local coffee shop, now you know why, heh. Also, if you know of anyone who can provide me with resources and guidance during this journey, please connect us. Please. I’m desperate.

I’ve been thinking and processing a lot more than I usually do. This past year has been about finding harmony between my chaotic self and the roles I am placed in. In other words, my heart fighting against the flesh. In other other words, duty over desire. Some may call it growing up, I choose to call it discipline (because I refuse to grow up; I hate “growing up”).  As I've been defining what it means to be disciplined and live as a healthy human, I've also had to define the importance of sleep and boundaries. It's as if our most fundamental practices of humanity aren't being met, so we unlearn and reject our old ways of living and relearn the HEALTHY way to live. Additionally, through Hayoung and Table Fables’ influence I’ve come to understand the importance of food as the ‘liturgy of [our] ordinary’, admitting that we are mere humans, weak when we don’t eat and blessed when feasting in communion. In Tish Warren’s words:

“We DON’T wake up daily and form a way of being-in-the-world from scratch, and we DON’T think our way through every action of our day. We move in patterns that we have set over time, day by day. These habits and practices shape our loves, our desires, and ultimately who we are and what we worship.”

From ‘liturgy of the ordinary’

It feels like this past year I've cried more than I have in my entire life combined. From small moments of expressing my gratitude for simply waking up in the morning to bigger moments where I gained a renewed (deeper) understanding of God's grace for me and how that grace compels us to love. I've cried through it all, forcing myself to feel every little emotion and gratitude without minimizing or belittling it. I’ve learned to grieve and to rejoice, allowing myself to live in the moment and revisit the past.

Okay, I’ll wrap it up now. As you could probably tell, there is still so much I want to say, but I’ll spare you, hahahaha. If you made it to the end, I’m very proud of you and I love you. As for you, I’d love to hear back from you and keep in touch. Just because I’ve graduated doesn’t mean we can’t continue having a relationship. So, I’ll appreciate you, buy you a cup of coffee, or take you out on a lunch date if you hit me up. Again, I cherish and love you, which means I’ll make time for you. Thanks for being a part of my life. Thank you for being you and not anybody else. It’s YOU that I love, not your looks, your works, or your talents. Continue to live outwardly. Stay curious. Never stop ceasing to understand the whys, the whats, the hows, and the whens. Never stop thinking and healing. This is just the beginning.

From yours truly (forever and ever and ever and ever),

David Sung-il Hwang

Here are some topics I want to write about in the future. If you’re interested in talking about any of these topics and want to share your experiences/opinions I’d love to listen over a cup of coffee:

Duty over desire – discipline

Listen! Mental health

My identity in Christ & my renewed (deeper) understanding of grace

MBTIs, enneagrams, attachment styles & more (SAVED MY LIFE)

The importance of sleep

The importance of boundaries

Defining love

The church & the bride

(If only I wrote my essays as passionately as I wrote my letters… LOL)